Parashat Va’era

“For the mountains will move, and the hills will be tilted.”

Rav M. Elon

The parshiyot that we are currently studying make repeated mention of a number of fundamental concepts – specifically two of which we will focus on.  The first concept is that of names, and the various contexts within which they appear. 

The Torah describes those entering Egypt as:

“And these are the names of Bnei Yisra’el who came to Egypt.”

(Shemot 1:1)

Moshe’s first plea and request after God’s revelation to him at the burning bush, after his humble response of “Who am I,” (ibid. 3:11) is:

“And (when) they will say to me, ‘What is His name’ – what shall I say to them?”

(ibid. v. 13)

Our parasha begins as follows:

“And I appeared to Avraham, to Yitzchak, and to Ya’akov as El Shaddai, and I did not allow them to know Me by My name ‘God’ (yud, hey, vav, hey.)”

(ibid. 6:3)

From this point on Moshe will also request to know God’s name.

An additional point which seems unconnected, yet as we will soon see is deeply related to the concept of names, is the great havoc and destruction (“shamot” in Hebrew) that God wreaks in Egypt.  Descriptions of the complete disarray that God causes to all the structures of nature in Egypt, and then the splitting of the Yam Suf fill the book of Shemot, the Book of Redemption.

[Regarding the relation between the word “shemot” – “names,” and “shamot” – “destruction” has already been expounded by our Sages on the verse “Go see the works of God, Who has placed shemot in the land,”(Tehillim 46:9,) do not read (the verse as) shemot, rather shamot. (Berachot 7b.)]

In principle, a name represents the individual and his independence, and in our context it represents the singular and unique manner in which that individual can cause the Infinite to be manifest in a uniform space in a plethora of manifestations.  These do not compensate for the need of the unique revelation, of the personal statement of each individual soul, which is expressed in the individual’s name.

And there are instances that in order to fully understand one’s identity that an external force is required to reorder and reorganize all of one’s reality.  Sometimes the entire form of reality on which we depend must be broken down in order that we may derive power and stability – when this truly originates from the name, from the individual, or more correctly from the infinite that becomes manifest through that individual.

We will attempt to examine the ‘names’ and the ‘devastation’ that God brings about on the earth through the study of the account of Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya – that individual who from the greatest depths of moral filth and stench was able to rise to the greatest heights.  He, who was simply the son of “Dordaya”, the son of “Yeast” – for “Dordaya” in Aramaic is “yeast” – yet was also “Elazar,” as Moshe names his son stating “for the God of my father was my assistance,” (Bereshit 18:4.) 

[We will soon further discuss the significance of this name.]

Let us offer a short introduction to the event depicted in the Gemara. The Gemara in Masechet Avoda Zara describes how the Gates of Repentance are never sealed.  Indeed the Gemara lists a number of categories of people before whom the Gates of Repentance are sealed – signifying that their process of repentance is especially difficult, and their complete repentance is only attained with their deaths.  The Gemara mentions that these are those who faltered with the sin of heresy.  The Gemara then poses a question: Certainly we have found that there are other sins which cause those who err with them to have especially difficult processes of repentance, for example the incident of Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya?  The Gemara then offers a record of his circumstances:

“Has it not been taught in a Beraita: ‘It was said of Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya that he did not leave one prostitute in all the world who he had not had relations with.  Once he heard that there was a certain prostitute in a distant city who took a pocket of gold Dinars as her fee.’”

(Avoda Zara 17a)

We are reading of a person who has an addiction to the most extreme degree.  This Elazar ben Dordaya does not leave a single prostitute without having being with her, his lifestyle signifies the epitome of immorality and licentiousness.

He hears of a prostitute who lives in a very distant location, who demands an astronomical fee for the morally repulsive services that she offers.

“He took a pocket of gold Dinars and traveled, passing through seven rivers in order to reach her.”

(ibid.)

Elazar ben Dordaya takes the large some of money and passes through “seven rivers” – these rivers express the great technical difficulties that he is required to triumph in order to attain relief for his terrible addiction.

Thus, he arrives at this prostitute, and:

“At the moment of the commencement of the act – she let out air.”

(ibid.)

In other words, when they were involved in the act of licentiousness, the prostitute let out some air. And then she comments to herself - yet aloud:

“She said: ‘Just as this air will not return to its place, so too Elazar ben Dordaya will never be received in repentance.’”

(ibid.)

She does not speak to him, (for the Gemara does not record that “She said to him,” rather “She said,”) rather she verbalizes her thoughts, as if stating a fact – that his repentance will never be received.

Despite our Sages’ great piety and modesty, they do not conceal the difficult claim in the words of the prostitute that Elazar ben Dordaya may indeed attempt to repent, yet as he is so entirely addicted to sin, his repentance will never be accepted.

We thus see to what low level Elazar ben Dordaya had sunk – to the point that a harlot factually states that he has hit rock-bottom.  She confers on him the lowest status of filth, similar to mere air with no form, no physical being, no personality, and quite obviously without name.  Yet it is specifically at this height of repulsive sin that the first cracks form that will ultimately crack the entire shell of sin that Elazar ben Dordaya finds himself within.

A tremor pulses through the soul of Elazar ben Dordaya, and now he searches for something to grasp at:

“He went and sat between two mountains and hills.

He said: ‘Mountains and hills – request mercy for me!’

They said to him: ‘If we are to request (mercy) for you – we (might as well) request for ourselves, as it states: ‘For the mountains will move, and the hills will be tilted,’ (Yeshayahu 54:10.)’”

(ibid.)

Elazar ben Dordaya “went and sat.”  Until this point we are told that he was in constant motion, traveling between different places.  He passed “through seven rivers” in order to reach the prostitute. However, now we witness a complete cessation of all motion, a true act of introspection on his part, Elazar ben Dordaya halts in order to consider where he is in life, and whether anything of his inner self has remained.  He requests of the mountains to plead for mercy for him, yet the mountains respond: You turn to us as symbols of power and might, as icons of stability, yet this is not the case for “If we are to request (mercy) for you – we (might as well) request for ourselves.”

Elazar ben Dordaya – whose inner stability, might, and determination was shattered by a prostitute from a far away land – continues in his search for stability, assurance, and respite.

“He said: ‘Heavens and the earth – request mercy for me!’

They said: ‘If we are to request (mercy) for you – we (might as well) request for ourselves, as it states: ‘For the heavens will vanish like smoke, and the earth will become worn like a garment,’ (Yeshayahu 51:6.)’”

(ibid.)

They too cannot comfort the troubled soul of Elazar ben Dordaya.

From that point Elazar ben Dordaya rises to a greater level of despair, calling on a higher realm for assistance – perhaps that realm will offer him the salvation that he seeks:

“He said: ‘Sun and moon - request mercy for me!’

They told him: ‘If we are to request (mercy) for you – we (might as well) request for ourselves, as it states: ‘Then the moon will be confounded, and the sun will be ashamed,’ (Yeshayahu 24:23.)’”

(ibid.)

He offers one more attempt:

“He said: ‘Stars and constellations - request mercy for me!’

They told him: ‘If we are to request (mercy) for you – we (might as well) request for ourselves, as it states: ‘And all the host of heaven will rot away.’ (Yeshayahu 34:4.)’”

(ibid.)

Then he comes to the conclusion that the power and the might which derive their strength from the infinite are to be found within himself:

“He said: ‘It is solely dependent on me.  He placed his head between his knees and wailed and sobbed until his soul departed.”

(ibid.)

We can understand this Gemara simply as telling us that all those various forces, mountains, hills, the heavens and the earth refused to request mercy for the troubled soul of Elazar ben Dordaya for they were involved in requesting mercy for themselves.  However, in truth, this Gemara offers a much more powerful message.  All the forces to whom Elazar ben Dordaya turns tell him that the stability and power which he seeks in them – is in fact to be found inside him himself.

This is in fact the nature of the various verses that are brought as proofs throughout the discussions between Elazar ben Dordaya and the various elements.  All these verses describe how there is no stability in reality other than the connection and relationship between God and his nation.

The mountains and the hills tell Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya that they must request mercy for themselves, and by way of proof they quote a section of a verse - the complete verse is as follows:

“‘For the mountains will move, and the hills will be tilted; but My kindness will not depart from you, nor will the covenant of My peace be swayed,’ says the Lord who has mercy on you.”

(Yeshayahu 54:10)

Thus “the mountains will move, and the hills will be tilted” – indicating that they cannot offer stability, yet “‘My kindness will not depart from you, nor will the covenant of My peace be swayed,’ says the Lord who has mercy on you.”

The same is the case regarding the heavens and the earth, which are also described by the prophet as having little stability and might in contrast to God’s salvation of His children:

“Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look upon the earth beneath; For the heavens will vanish like smoke, and the earth will become worn like a garment, and those who dwell in it will similarly die; but My salvation will be forever, and My righteousness shall not be broken.”

(ibid. 51:6)

And in the continuation of his words the prophet says:

“Therefore the redeemed of God will return, and they will come with singing to Zion; and everlasting joy will be upon their head; they will obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning will flee away.”

(ibid. v. 11)

A similar statement is made of the sun and the moon:

“Then the moon will be confounded, and the sun will be ashamed, when the Lord of Hosts will reign in Mount Zion, and in Jerusalem, and honor will exist before His elders.”

(ibid. 24:23)

Here too we learn that all stability stems from relying on God, Who will reign in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem before all flesh to behold.  And finally, the verse quoted by the stars and constellations is followed by the prophet’s call:

“Strengthen weak hands, and give courage to feeble knees.”

(ibid. 35:3)

Thus, Elazar be Dordaya learns that in a short moment his strong lust for the source of eternity and might will transform him into Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya.  For all those elements, the heavens and the earth, the hills and the mountains, etc. all symbolize external strength, when in fact the true might is within him.  Then he places his head between his knees, in a position similar to the fetal position, [Cf. Gemara Nida 30b,] and he acknowledges: “It is solely dependent on me.”

All the darkness and all the frustration, the pain, the suffering, and the repressed desires burst forth – until his soul departs upon the altar of his tears.  Then the Gemara states:

“A heavenly voice went out and stated:

‘Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya is invited to life in the World to Come.’”

(Avoda Zara 17a)

Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya does not in fact die, for instead he is reborn, and then his soul departs his body in purity, at a moment of internal truth.

The Gemara concludes, saying:

“Rebi wept and said: ‘There is one who acquires his world (ie. his portion in the World to Come) in a number of years, and there is one who acquires his world in one moment.’”

(ibid.)

The Gemara continues even further:

“”Not only are Ba’alei Teshuva (literally “Those who are of Repentance”) accepted, but they are called ‘Rabi.’”

(ibid.)

The Maharal explains the deep meaning of Rebi’s words as follows:

“‘Rebi wept and said: ‘There is one who acquires his world in one moment, and there is one who acquires his world in a number of years; and not only are Ba’alei Teshuva accepted, but he is called ‘Rabi.’’’

All this is because Teshuva (“Repentance”) is the removal of the material within which exists the sin, and therefore he is also termed ‘Rabi,’ as if he were intellectual (‘sichli’ – i.e. ‘spiritual,’ the opposite of ‘material,’) for once he has removed his body through Teshuva, and thus reached death – then he becomes ‘sichli’ and as if he is entirely separated from the body.”

 (Maharal, Netiv Ha’Teshuva, 8)

The significance of the Maharal’s explanation is that there is no “Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya” - “Rabi” in the simple sense of the word, but rather in its inner meaning.  “Rabi” is a Talmid Chacham (Torah sage) who completely cleaves to the sichli to the point that he entirely voids any weight material concerns carry, [of course one does not ignore one’s needs in this world, yet a Talmid Chacham allows the core soul concerns to influence his perspectives more than the average man.]

This was what occurred to Rabi Elazar be Dordaya – he cast off all the dimensions of the worldly and solely cleaved to the intellectual, spiritual, that exists at the heart of all reality.

“There is one who acquires his world in one moment” can be explained also as “there is one who acquires his world with one cry.”

[“B’sha’ah achat” – “in one moment” can also be rendered as “b’shva’ah achat” – “in one cry” or “in one scream,” as we see from the Selichot “She’eh et shav’atenu” – “Turn to our cry.”]

Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya cast off everything at that moment – the point of eternity shone forth from his heart – he voided all of the external reality, and therefore he was termed ‘Rabi.’  This is the greatest of all accomplishments, to be able to break down all of the material world, all of the shells and partitions and to connect with the core.  This we learn from someone with one of the greatest addictions to sin, from one who even a lowly prostitute considered to be too far in the abyss, too far for any hope of salvation.  And it is exactly this that serves as the catalyst for the great upheaval in his life.

This, then, is Rabi Elazar ben Dordaya, who just yesterday was “ben Dordaya,” the ‘son of yeast,’ of dirt and stench, yet he also held within him “El-azar” – “God assisted.”  Then, when all the rules were broken, all the barriers were breached, and he gave birth to himself anew to death, to the Teshuva that covers all one’s deeds.

[Regarding his name, “Elazar ben Dordaya” the Maharal notes as follows:

“It would seem correct to say that his name indicates his character, his name ‘Dordaya’ is the terminology of ‘wine dregs’ which is the waste-product of the wine, and an evil individual is termed ‘vinegar the son of wine.’  When he sins, utilizing his body in the sin of licentiousness, he is termed ‘ben Dordaya’ – ‘the son of Dordaya’ – for his entirety was as the waste-product from dregs, only he was prepared for Teshuva, and therefore he was named ‘Elazar ben Dordaya.’  This name is very fitting for him, for his entirety was as waste-product like the wine dregs, and within the wine dregs he had the prepared potential that God would assist him allowing him to return in repentance.  And since Elazar ben Dordaya was primed for sin by his nature, so too, by the same measure was he primed for Teshuva by his nature, and therefore his name indicates the sin and the Teshuva, as he was named Elazar ben Dordaya, as we explained above, for that which is primed for Teshuva is also primed for sin.”]

The exodus from Egypt is not simply a historical event, Pharaoh is not merely an emperor who existed in ancient history.  The record of the exodus from Egypt is in fact a daily accounting of our lives, Pharaoh is the mountains and the hills, the heavens and the earth, all the forces, so to speak, whose primary strength is their exterior presence.  Pharaoh is all those who prevent us – whether by obvious force or whether by subliminal force under the guise of amiability – from looking inwards, to the core.

So many times we have offered our children hills and mountains, the heavens and the earth when they were seeking inwards, and sometimes they were simply unable to express what it is that they were seeking.

This is exactly as Re’uven [an alias] was, Re’uven who passed away this previous Shabbat, on Friday night.  Our obligation to discuss this account is his unwritten testament, and it is vital that we see how painful and how difficult it is.

[At the beginning of the shi’ur Rav Elon told a very difficult story of a young boy who had sent him a letter while in the depths of drug abuse.  The letter contained a deep cry for help, for content, for inner meaning, a cry to be born anew.  Despite the repeated efforts of Rav Elon he was unsuccessful, and the tormented soul of this boy returned to God Who had first granted it life on this past Friday night.  We must note that this plague does not spare any segment of society.  This child was from a good home, from a good family.  This terrible plague is present everywhere, not only on the periphery of society – but also in our hearts.]

In a letter which he conveyed to me via two of the members of the Yeshiva whom he happened to meet in the center of Jerusalem, he wrote as follows…

At the top of the letter he wrote his name:

“Re’uven who wants another life.”

The content of the letter is as follows:

“Shalom Rav Elon!

I like you very much, I long for you and need you.

I ask your forgiveness if I have offended you…

I have stopped stealing and thieving

And I have decided that it is better to beg for money, and that is what I am doing.”

[Rav Elon noted that Re’uven had never done anything to offend him, and that the thieving that he was speaking of were insignificant misdemeanors, yet in Re’uven’s eyes, the sensitive child that he was, he understood his deeds with great severity.]

“I see death coming closer to me from day to day,

Yet I have decided that I must live, ‘must’ – for I have no option, God has decided it.

A week ago, a doctor and a nurse at the clinic could not find a vein in my arm.

I have no more veins in my arms, I inject myself in my stomach and legs.

I want to die.  The fact that I am alive makes me suffer.

I wish I had not been born at all.

Rav Elon, please help me, hug me, turn me into a human being.

My emotions are too strong, and that is why I have become this way, for I am offended by everything.

Once I was angry with you, and I forgave you, for I really like you.

Help me, help me, help me

Take me out of this hell, it is hell,

I am in hell on earth.

Rav Elon, I love you, I love every human being in the world,

And if possible I want to be with you for two or three days to receive some sanctity.

I live in a shack above the HaMashbir store, in a deserted school,

Please, I am about to die,

The whole city’s police force is trying to put me into jail...”

[Rav Elon noted that the police were searching for Re’uven in order to save him from himself, for only prison could keep him from using drugs.]

“Rav Elon, I love you, for the power of your emotions is so great,

And you are full of feeling, you love every Jew,

And I want to love, I want to be happy, and I am constantly depressed.

I did things in my childhood that due to them I am unable to stop with the drugs,

I want to be free from them, and you are someone I can rely on to listen, to take some of the burden off me in order to liberate me…

I want to come closer to God, there isn’t a single day when I do not ask fifty times to die, I want it to be good for everybody.

God gave us such a great gift, the gift of emotions and love,

Please answer me as I am completely alone, everyone has deserted me…

Please Rav Elon, take me out of this inferno, the inferno of hell,

I love you very much,

Re’uven.”

At the bottom of the page Re’uven wrote a few more lines, one of them was:

“I apologize for taking a few moments of your precious time,

I am sorry, I forgive, and I love…”

In a second line he wrote:

“Rav Elon, I want to get out of this, and help others to get out of it,

that is the purpose of my life, that it should be good for everybody.

I also want…”

This, then, is Re’uven’s letter.

[Immediately after Rav Elon received this letter he sent the student who had brought him the letter to find Re’uven.  All his attempts failed.  Re’uven was finally imprisoned for a few months, and after he was released last week, after months clean of drug abuse, he took a dose too great for his body to cope with, and his tormented soul left his body.  May he rest in peace.]

It is so easy to lose such a student in the education system.  A student full of emotion who truly seeks the best for everybody.  It is so difficult to see such a young boy, nineteen years olds, who desires to be born anew, only ultimately to die at the moment of his rebirth.

“To know God” is to know the individual and unique in every person.  To love, to embrace, to believe.  Only through knowing God, knowing the might, can the redemption of the world occur – not by relying on any exterior might, the mountains and the hills, the heavens and the earth, and certainly not the stars and constellations.  Only by knowing each person’s name, (in the deepest sense,) by knowing the inner self.

We felt it was our obligation to mention the very difficult circumstances of Re’uven, as part of this beautiful yet tormented soul’s last testament, in order that “the living should take it to heart,” (Kohelet 7:2.)

Translated by Sholem Hurwitz

Copyright Keren Yishai/Rav M.Elon.