3rd Kislev, 5766 – 4/12/05
Parashat VaYez'e
“Give me my wife”
Rav M. Elon
The parashot of Be'reshit that we have been studying deal with a number of marriages, and now we encounter Ya’akov’s marriage to Rah'el and Le’ah and the many challenges that he must overcome.
After seven years of labor in order to merit Rah'el’s hand in marriage, he approaches her father, Lavan, in this regard. The verse that describes this seems rather harsh – especially if we consider the outright nature of Ya’akov’s demand in a matter that we feel modesty and reserve more appropriate.
Ya’akov speaks to Lavan in a clear and direct manner, revealing the severe tone of his words:
"וַיֹּאמֶר יַעֲקֹב אֶל לָבָן הָבָה אֶת אִשְׁתִּי כִּי מָלְאוּ יָמָי וְאָבוֹאָה אֵלֶיהָ"
“And Ya’akov said to Lavan: ‘Give me my wife, for my days have been completed, that I may come to her.’”
(Be'reshit 29:21)
Rashi notes this issue, and comments:
"מלאו ימי – שאמרה לי אימי, ועוד מלאו ימי, שהרי אני בן פ"ד (84) שנה ואימתי אעמיד י"ב שבטים, וזהו שאמר ואבואה אליה, והלא קל שבקלים אינו אומר כן, אלא להוליד תולדות אמר כן."
“‘For my days are fulfilled’ – (those) that mother told, and also my days have been filled for I am eighty-four years of age, when will I establish twelve tribe? And this is as he said ‘that I may come to her’ – certainly even the lowest of the lowest (men) does not say such a thing, rather he said this regarding (his desire) to produce offspring”
(Rashi, ibid.)
Rashi hints that Ya’akov’s words may be very easily misunderstood, and certainly if not comprehended correctly may lead to difficult conclusions. As Rashi says:
“והלא קל שבקלים אינו אומר כן” – “Certainly even the lowest of the lowest (men) does not say such a thing.” Rashi explains Ya’akov’s blunt words by explaining that Ya’akov desires to produce offspring..
The word “הָבָה” (“havah”) – “give” – appears on a number of occasions in the Torah, and if we are to understand the precise denotation of this term we must consider the very first mention of this word.
Its first occurrence is in relation to Migdal Bavel – the Tower of Babel:
"וַיֹּאמְרוּ אִישׁ אֶל רֵעֵהוּ הָבָה נִלְבְּנָה לְבֵנִים וְנִשְׂרְפָה לִשְׂרֵפָה וַתְּהִי לָהֶם הַלְּבֵנָה לְאָבֶן וְהַחֵמָר הָיָה לָהֶם לַחֹמֶר"
“And they said one to another: ‘Come (“havah”), let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.’ And they had brick for stone, and clay for mortar.”
(Be'reshit 11:3)
God uses the very same term in His reaction to this acitivity:
"הָבָה נֵרְדָה וְנָבְלָה שָׁם שְׂפָתָם אֲשֶׁר לֹא יִשְׁמְעוּ אִישׁ שְׂפַת רֵעֵהוּ"
“Come (“havah”), let us go down there and confuse their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.”
(ibid. v. 7)
We may thus deduce that the term “הָבָה” (“havah”) – indicates a premeditated act. We may then understand how the people involved in the construction of the Migdal Bavel turn to each other and say “הָבָה נִלְבְּנָה לְבֵנִים וְנִשְׂרְפָה לִשְׂרֵפָה” – “Come (“havah”), let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly.” They are about to embark on a well planned premeditated path of action.
The same is the case in our parashah – Ya’akov approaches Lavan and requests
“הָבָה אֶת אִשְׁתִּי כִּי מָלְאוּ יָמָי וְאָבוֹאָה אֵלֶיהָ” – “Give me my wife, for my days have been completed, that I may come to her” – in an act that is most certainly not a moment of lust or desire. Quite obviously such an act cannot ring true for our forefathers, the founders of our nation. Ya’akov requests “havah” revealing meticulous planning, for he desires to establish the Twelve Tribes of Yisra’el, to have the tremendous potential within him become manifest, and therefore he must build a home.
The words of Rabbenu Bah'ye, the disciple of the Ramban, are truly amazing when commenting on the tremendous sanctity and purity of our forefathers.
"ויתכן לפרש: כי הדיבור הזה ליעקב לא היה מצד התאווה שהיה בו רוע המוסר רק מצד השכל"
“And it is possible to explain that this statement of Ya’akov was not rooted in lust such that he was morally corrupt, but was rather rooted in the intellect.”
(Rabbenu Bah'ye, ibid. 29:21)
In other words, the verse “הָבָה אֶת אִשְׁתִּי כִּי מָלְאוּ יָמָי וְאָבוֹאָה אֵלֶיהָ” – “Give me my wife, for my days have been completed, that I may come to her” – is not an indication of moral decay that had affected Ya’akov but stemmed rather from his intellect. This was not a momentary slip of the tongue – it had been preceded by much thought.
"וידוע שאין הפרש אצל השכל בין אברי המשגל לשאר האברים כגון הפנים והידיים."
“It is known that there is no distinction between the intellect and the reproductive organs or the other limbs like the face and hands.”
(ibid.)
If we were able to isolate the inclination of lust we would then understand that on an intellectual level there is no difference between one’s reproductive organs and his other limbs and organs.
"ומעולם אדם ואשתו לא עשו להם חגורות לכסות בשר ערווה, עד שאכלו והמשיכו כוח מעץ הדעת והתלבשו בתאוות"
“Adam and his wife had never made loincloths for themselves in order to cover their naked skins until they ate of and drew power from the Tree of Knowledge and (thus) were enrobed with lust.”
(ibid.)
Adam and Eve were naked, yet the entire need to cover themselves only arose after their sin, after they were drawn into the reality of lustful humans. Prior to this, conjugal relationships were related to in no different a manner than eating and drinking.
Rabbenu Bah'ye then turns to the Forefathers:
"וכיוון שכן היו שכליים כמלאכי השרת אין לתמוה עליהם בדבר הזה, כי כל כוונתם בהשתמש בכלי הגוף כדי להימשך אחר השכל"
“And since they were intellectual akin to the angels, we may never suspect them in a matter such as this.”
(ibid.)
The Forefathers existed on a completely separate plane to our existence. A statement of our forefathers that may seem forthright and blunt is only seen to be such when we consider it through our perspective. Our Forefathers desired to utilize their bodies in a manner such that it would be subjugated to the sekhel, to the complete truth.
Rabbenu Bah'ye then expands on this concept in relating to our Matriarchs, explaining how Rah'el and Le’ah’s desire to join with Ya’akov in establishing and giving birth to the Tribes was an act of the sekhel. This is revealed in the incident of the mandrakes.
"גם האימהות רחל ולאה שהיו מריבות זו עם זו על הפעולה הזאת הטבעית, כל דבריהם היו מן המין הזה"
“So too the Matriarchs, Rah'el and Le’ah, who would quarrel with each other about this natural act have this concept underlying all their words.”
(ibid.)
Rah'el and Le’ah’s actions are guided by this same ideal.
"כי היו יודעות ברוה"ק שי"ב שבטים עתידים לצאת מיעקב מארבע נשים, וזהו שאמרה לאה לרחל: ' הַמְעַט קַחְתֵּךְ אֶת אִישִׁי' והשיבה רחל ' לָכֵן יִשְׁכַּב עִמָּךְ הַלַּיְלָה.' ולאה שיצאה לקראתו ואמרה לו: 'אֵלַי תָּבוֹא כִּי שָׂכֹר שְׂכַרְתִּיךָ.' לא הייתה כוונתן רדיפת התאווה, חס ושלום כי אם כוונת המצווה בלבד כאשר ידעו בנבואה"
“For they perceived through ru’ah' ha-kodesh (“Spirit of the Divine,” i.e. prophecy) that the Twelve Tribes were destined to be born to Ya’akov through four wives, and this is what Le’ah says to Rah'el: “'המעט קחתך את אישי” – “Isn’t it enough that you have taken away my husband?” (Be'reshit 30:15); and Rah'el responds: “לכן ישכב עימך הלילה” – “Thus he will sleep with you tonight” (ibid.). Then Le’ah goes out to meet him saying: “אליי תבוא כי שכור שכרתיך” – “You will come to me for I have paid for you” (ibid. v. 16). Her intention was not one of pursuing lust, God forbid, but rather intention solely for the miz'vah as they had perceived through prophecy.”
(ibid.)
Rabbenu Bah'ye states that all the verses which seem to describe a business negotiation over who will be with Ya’akov in fact exist in a different realm, a realm of pure, supernal desire of motherhood to found the Twelve Tribes. The future tribes to descend from Ya’akov which they perceived in their prophecy lie at the basis of their every action.
Then Rabbenu Bah'ye defines the core matter:
"והדבור הזה כנבואה באבות שכל פעולותיהם נמשכות אחר השכל וכל דבריהם אפילו השיחה השלהם על פיו יחנו ועל פיו ייסעו, גם באימהות הנביאות, אין בהם כיעור ואל רוע מוסר"
“This speech (of our forefathers) is as prophecy for all the actions follow the sekhel and all of their words – even their conversations as to whether they will camp or whether they will travel, also of our Matriarchs prophetesses contain no repugnance nor moral corruption.”
(Rabbenu Bah'ye, ibid.)
In other words their statements were no less than prophecy. Just as when a prophet prophesizes we are only able to understand a fraction of the prophecy – for we are never able to experience the prophetic experience as the prophet himself experiences it – so too we are simply incapable of understanding the depths of our Forefathers’ speech. Even if we were to understand we would never be able to experience the spiritual experience of our Forefathers who were far beyond our level of spiritual experience. Our Forefather’s speech “contain no repugnance nor moral corruption.”
Rabbenu Bah'ye then brings a proof from the Midrash as to this approach:
"וראייה ברורה לזה מה שדרשו רז"ל: 'רחל שזלזלה במשכבו של אותו צדיק לא זכתה להיקבר עימו . לאה שתבעה ואמרה לו: 'אליי תבוא כי שכור שכרתיך' נשתכרה שיצא ממנה יששכר."
“A clear proof to this is what H azal expounded: ‘Rah'el who showed disdain for the bed-right of that Z'addik did not merit to be buried with him. Le’ah who demanded (this) saying: ‘אליי תבוא כי שכור שכרתיך’ – ‘You will come to me for I have paid for you’ – merited giving birth to Yissakhar.”
(ibid.)
If we perceive these matters through our perspective we might question the nature of this “merit” for Le’ah demanding her right to be with Ya’akov. Moreover she names her child “יִשָּׂשכָר” – which is a combination of the words “יֵש” and “שָׂכָר”: “there is reward,” for she merited Ya’akov through her son’s mandrakes.
"וזהו : 'וישכב עימה בלילה הוא' לא אמר : 'בלילה ההוא' אלא 'בלילה הוא' לפי ש"הוא" שמו של הקב"ה"
“And this is: ‘'וישכב עימה בלילה הוא’ – ‘And he lay with her that night (literally “at night, he”)’ It does not state ‘בלילה ההוא’ – ‘on that very night’ – for ‘הוא’ is God’s name.”
(ibid.)
There is an expression of the Shekhinah (God’s Presence) that night with Ya’akov and Le’ah which indicates the true level of Ya’akov and Le’ah.
"וזהו שאמרה לאה: 'נתן אלהים שכרי' , כלומר שכרי לפי כוונתי, כלשון הנה שכרו איתו ופעולתו לפניו"
“And this is what Le’ah said: ‘נתן אלהים שכרי’ – ‘God has given my reward’ – in other words ‘my reward’ in my understanding in the manner of “הנה שכרו איתו ופעולתו לפניו” – “Behold his reward is with Him, and His deed is before Him” (Ye'shayahu 40:10).
(ibid.)
Le’ah offers thanks to God for perceiving her true intentions despite it seeming that her intentions were otherwise, thus awarding her Yissakhar in reward.
Rabbenu Bah'ye adds additional proofs:
"ועוד מתוך מה שכתוב: וישמע אלהים אל לאה, יורה שהתפללה אל הקב"ה"
“And furthermore from what it states: ‘And God heard Le’ah’ – indicating that she prayed to God.”
(ibid.)
Rabbenu Bah'ye also notes that we may learn of the pure motivations of our Matriarchs by the resulting events:
"והא למדת כי על הפעולה הזאת נענשה זו ונִשְׂתַכְרָה זו – והשכר והעונש אינו כי אם על מעשה המצוות, והנה הענייניים כולם יורו ויעידו כי כל כוונתם הייתה למצווה"
“Thus we learn that it was for this action that she (Rah'el) was punished and she (Le’ah) was rewarded – and the reward and punishment was only in relation to fulfillment of miz'vot, and all these matters indicate that their entire intentions were for the miz'vah.”
(ibid.)
Le’ah was rewarded for her efforts to be with Ya’akov, and Rah'el is punished for this incident. This reward and punishment was in relation to the fulfillment or lack of fulfillment of an act of a miz'vah. Thus we see that their attempts to be with Ya’akov were in fact an act of a miz'vah.
As mentioned above, the guiding motivation in these incidents and “the speech of our Forefathers was as prophecy” – the conversations of our Forefathers contained speech on the level of prophecy.
We note this throughout these parshiyot – for example, when Ya’akov meets Rah'el:
"וַיִּשַּׁק יַעֲקֹב לְרָחֵל וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת-קֹלוֹ וַיֵּבְךְּ"
“And Ya’akov kissed Rachel, and raised his voice, and wept.”
(Be'reshit 29:11)
One of the H'assidic Rebbes asked why it was that Ya’akov cried, and he answered with incisive wit that Ya’akov had envisioned what would become of this verse in the future…
It is important to note that in Rah'el and Le’ah’s conversation Ya’akov is described as “אִישִּׁי” – “my man” – as opposed to “בֳּעַלִי” – “my husband.” Le’ah uses this term when she names her children, for example when naming Re'uven:
"כִי רָאָה ה' בְּעָנְיִי כִּי עַתָּה יֶאֱהָבַנִי אִישִׁי"
“Surely God has looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.”
(ibid. v. 22)
So too when naming Levi:
"וַתַּהַר עוֹד וַתֵּלֶד בֵּן וַתֹּאמֶר עַתָּה הַפַּעַם יִלָּוֶה אִישִׁי אֵלַי כִּי יָלַדְתִּי לוֹ שְׁלֹשָׁה בָנִים עַל-כֵּן קָרָא-שְׁמוֹ לֵוִי"
“And she conceived again, and bore a son; and she said, ‘Now this time my husband will accompany me, because I have born him three sons’; therefore his name was called ‘Levi.’”
(ibid. 29:34)
Then, when Le’ah argues with Rah'el she says:
"... וַתֹּאמֶר לָהּ הַמְעַט קַחְתֵּךְ אֶת-אִישִׁי וְלָקַחַת גַּם אֶת-דּוּדָאֵי בְּנִי..."
“And she said to her: ‘Isn’t it enough that you have taken away my husband? Would you also take away my son's mandrakes?”
(ibid. 30:15)
The key term is “אִישִּׁי” – “my man” – and this is in fact the central theme to Sefer Be'reshit as we will soon see.
We find our forefathers dealing with great opponents from the outside, yet it is always the confrontation and challenges that they – and their wives – must face when standing before God that revolve around the issue of the family.
Avraham is forced by famine to descend to Egypt, and requests of Sarah:
"אִמְרִי-נָא אֲחֹתִי אָתְּ לְמַעַן יִיטַב לִי בַעֲבוּרֵךְ וְחָיְתָה נַפְשִׁי בִּגְלָלֵךְ"
“Say, I beg you, that you are my sister; that it may good for me for your sake; and my soul shall live because of you.”
(ibid. 12:13)
Avraham requests that Sarah state that she is his sister. When Avraham requests that Sarah do so “אמרי נא אחותי את למען ייטב לי בעבורך” – “Say, I beg you, that you are my sister; that it may good for me for your sake; and my soul shall live because of you” – he does not intend to save himself while abandoning his wife. (As noted by the Se'forno, Akedat Yiz'h'ak and others.)
Avraham means “in order that it will be good for your sake”. Avraham tells Sarah that if the Egyptians discover that I am your husband I will most certainly be killed, this will not offer you, Sarah, any salvation. In order that I may do something in order to protect us I must remain alive – and then we will be able to find a solution. Thus the verse continues “וְחָיְתָה נַפְשִׁי בִּגְלָלֵךְ” – “and my soul will live for you (“bigla’lekh”)” – for the term “biglal” does not only mean “due to” but occurs in the Torah signifying “for.”
Therefore the verses continue:
"וַיְנַגַּע ה' אֶת-פַּרְעֹה נְגָעִים גְּדֹלִים וְאֶת-בֵּיתוֹ עַל-דְּבַר שָׂרַי אֵשֶׁת אַבְרָם"
“And God plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Avram's wife.”
(ibid. 12:17)
And then Par’oh understands his mistake:
"וַיִּקְרָא פַרְעֹה לְאַבְרָם וַיֹּאמֶר מַה-זֹּאת עָשִׂיתָ לִּי לָמָּה לֹא-הִגַּדְתָּ לִּי כִּי אִשְׁתְּךָ הִוא: לָמָה אָמַרְתָּ אֲחֹתִי הִוא וָאֶקַּח אֹתָהּ לִי לְאִשָּׁה וְעַתָּה הִנֵּה אִשְׁתְּךָ קַח וָלֵךְ"
“And Pharaoh called Avram, and said, ‘What is this that you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? Why did you say, “She is my sister” so I might have taken her for my wife? Now therefore behold your wife, take her, and go on your way.’”
(ibid. v. 18-19)
Par’oh recoils from the situation he has been drawn in to, he desires to return Sarah to Avraham as soon as possible. He then ensures that no further “errors” of mistaken identity occur again:
"וַיְצַו עָלָיו פַּרְעֹה אֲנָשִׁים וַיְשַׁלְּחוּ אֹתוֹ וְאֶת-אִשְׁתּוֹ וְאֶת-כָּל-אֲשֶׁר-לוֹ"
“And Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him; and they sent him away, and his wife, and all that he had.”
(ibid. v. 20)
And then we once again are faced with a similar situation between Avraham, Sarah, and Avimelekh.
Let us recall the parashiyot thus far – Avraham receives the tidings of his son’s imminent birth immediately prior to the destruction of Se'dom and Amorah. The Torah continues to describe the events surrounding Sem’s destruction, and then Avraham and Sarah confront Avimelekh, and thereafter we are told of Yiz'h'ak’s birth. This parashiyah dealing with Avimelekh seems to be out of place in this sequence of events.
The verses state:
"וַיִּסַּע מִשָּׁם אַבְרָהָם אַרְצָה הַנֶּגֶב וַיֵּשֶׁב בֵּין-קָדֵשׁ וּבֵין שׁוּר וַיָּגָר בִּגְרָר: וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָהָם אֶל-שָׂרָה אִשְׁתּוֹ אֲחֹתִי הִוא וַיִּשְׁלַח אֲבִימֶלֶךְ מֶלֶךְ גְּרָר וַיִּקַּח אֶת שָׂרָה"
“And Avraham journeyed from there toward the Negev, and settled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar. And Avraham said of Sarah his wife, ‘She is my sister’; and Avimelekh king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.”
(ibid. v. 1,2)
Once again Avraham employs the tactic of claiming that his wife, Sarah, is in fact his sister, and again Sarah is taken, to the house of Avimelekh now. Then God appears to Avimelekh:
"וַיָּבֹא אֱלֹהִים אֶל אֲבִימֶלֶךְ בַּחֲלוֹם הַלָּיְלָה וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ הִנְּךָ מֵת עַל הָאִשָּׁה אֲשֶׁר לָקַחְתָּ וְהִוא בְּעֻלַת בָּעַל וַאֲבִימֶלֶךְ לֹא קָרַב אֵלֶיהָ וַיֹּאמַר ה' הֲגוֹי גַּם-צַדִּיק תַּהֲרֹג"
“But God came to Avimelekh in a dream that night, and said to him, ‘Behold, you are a dead man, because of the woman whom you have taken; for she is a husband's wife.’ But Avimelekh had not come near her; and he said, ‘God, will you slay also a righteous nation?’
(ibid. 3-4)
The conversation between Avraham and Avimelekh develops further, and Avimelekh’s reaction (as well as that of his entire estate) to their error is quite severe:
"וַיַּשְׁכֵּם אֲבִימֶלֶךְ בַּבֹּקֶר וַיִּקְרָא לְכָל-עֲבָדָיו וַיְדַבֵּר אֶת-כָּל-הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה בְּאָזְנֵיהֶם וַיִּירְאוּ הָאֲנָשִׁים מְאֹד וַיִּקְרָא אֲבִימֶלֶךְ לְאַבְרָהָם וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ מֶה-עָשִׂיתָ לָּנוּ וּמֶה-חָטָאתִי לָךְ כִּי-הֵבֵאתָ עָלַי וְעַל-מַמְלַכְתִּי חֲטָאָה גְדֹלָה מַעֲשִׂים אֲשֶׁר לֹא-יֵעָשׂוּ עָשִׂיתָ עִמָּדִי"
“Therefore Avimelekh rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears; and the men were very afraid. Then Avimelekh called Avraham, and said to him, ‘What have you done to us? And in what way have I offended you, that you have brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? You have done deeds to me that ought not to be done.’”
(ibid. 8-9)
Avimelekh then adds, shocked to his core:
"וַיֹּאמֶר אֲבִימֶלֶךְ אֶל-אַבְרָהָם מָה רָאִיתָ כִּי עָשִׂיתָ אֶת-הַדָּבָר הַזֶּה"
“And Avimelekh said to Avraham, What did you see, that you have done this thing?”
(ibid. v. 10)
Then Avimelekh understands the essential issue:
"וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָהָם כִּי אָמַרְתִּי רַק אֵין-יִרְאַת אֱלֹהִים בַּמָּקוֹם הַזֶּה וַהֲרָגוּנִי עַל-דְּבַר אִשְׁתִּי"
“And Avraham said, ‘Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.’”
(ibid. v. 11)
The very same incident revisits Yiz'h'ak and Rivkah. As we recall there was a famine in the land, as in the days of Avraham, and Yiz'h'ak and Rivkah move to Ge'rar. The verses states:
"...וַיֵּשֶׁב יִצְחָק, בִּגְרָר:וַיִּשְׁאֲלוּ אַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם לְאִשְׁתּוֹ וַיֹּאמֶר אֲחֹתִי הִוא כִּי יָרֵא לֵאמֹר אִשְׁתִּי פֶּן-יַהַרְגֻנִי אַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם עַל-רִבְקָה כִּי-טוֹבַת מַרְאֶה הִוא"
“And Yiz'h'ak lived in Gerar; And the men of the place asked him about his wife; and he said, ‘She is my sister;’ for he feared to say, ‘She is my wife;’ ‘lest,’ said he, ‘the men of the place should kill me for Rivkah; because she had a beautiful countenance.”
(ibid. 26:6,7)
Again we witness husband and wife claiming that rather they are siblings:
"וַיְהִי כִּי אָרְכוּ-לוֹ שָׁם הַיָּמִים וַיַּשְׁקֵף אֲבִימֶלֶךְ מֶלֶךְ פְּלִשְׁתִּים בְּעַד הַחַלּוֹן וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה יִצְחָק מְצַחֵק אֵת רִבְקָה אִשְׁתּוֹ"
“And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Avimelekh king of the Philistines looked out a window, and he saw that Yiz'h'ak was enjoying himself with Rivkah his wife.”
(ibid. v. 8)
And then Avimelekh summons Yiz'h'ak to offer an explanation for his actions:
"וַיִּקְרָא אֲבִימֶלֶךְ לְיִצְחָק וַיֹּאמֶר אַךְ הִנֵּה אִשְׁתְּךָ הִוא וְאֵיךְ אָמַרְתָּ אֲחֹתִי הִוא וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו יִצְחָק כִּי אָמַרְתִּי פֶּן-אָמוּת עָלֶיהָ"
“And Avimelekh called Yiz'h'ak, and said, ‘Behold, certainly she is your wife; and why did you say, “She is my sister?”’ And Yiz'h'ak said to him: ‘Because I said, “Lest I die for her.”’”
(ibid. v. 9)
The reaction to this ‘error’ on the part of Avimelekh is severe, as in the days of Avraham, and as a result Avimelekh instructs his servants as to a course of action.
"וַיֹּאמֶר אֲבִימֶלֶךְ מַה-זֹּאת עָשִׂיתָ לָּנוּ כִּמְעַט שָׁכַב אַחַד הָעָם אֶת-אִשְׁתֶּךָ וְהֵבֵאתָ עָלֵינוּ אָשָׁם וַיְצַו אֲבִימֶלֶךְ אֶת-כָּל-הָעָם לֵאמֹר הַנֹּגֵעַ בָּאִישׁ הַזֶּה וּבְאִשְׁתּו ֹמוֹת יוּמָת"
“And Avimelekh said, ‘What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.’ And Avimelekh charged all his people, saying, ‘He who touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.’”
(ibid. v. 10,11)
Once again we read of something that seems to be completely unconnected to its location in the sequence of events that Torah records for us.
Therefore we will claim that the entire Sefer Be'reshit revolves around the concept of “אִשִׁי-אִשׁתִי” – “my man-my wife”; moreover it is specifically these incidents that seem to be out of place that are the focal basis of the text.
In fact, in a world that lacks healthy, productive husband-wife relationships – a flood will arise that will obliterate everything. And in order to prevent the flood the world must elevate itself through the pure marital institution. Our rights to Erez' Yisra’el too will be acquired through the correct “man-wife” relationships.
Beginning with the previous parashah, Parashat Toldot, we will study this phenomenon that will clarify this perspective.
The verses state:
"וַיְהִי עֵשָׂו בֶּן-אַרְבָּעִים שָׁנָה וַיִּקַּח אִשָּׁה אֶת-יְהוּדִית בַּת-בְּאֵרִי הַחִתִּי וְאֶת-בָּשְׂמַת בַּת-אֵילֹן הַחִתִּי : וַתִּהְיֶיןָ מֹרַת רוּחַ לְיִצְחָק וּלְרִבְקָה"
“And Esav was forty years old when he married Ye'hudit the daughter of Be'eri the Hittite, and Base'mat the daughter of Eylon the Hittite; And they caused disomfort to Yiz'h'ak and to Rivkah.”
(Be'reshit v. 34,35)
Esav takes wives who cause his parents discomfort. He marries Base'mat the daughter of Eylon the Hittite, of the descendants of H'et, who most certainly embodies a complete contradiction to the basic values that Yiz'h'ak was educated towards – and which form the basis for his marriage to Rivkah. As Avraham enjoins him:
"...אֲשֶׁר לֹא תִקַּח אִשָּׁה לִבְנִי מִבְּנוֹת הַכְּנַעֲנִי אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי יוֹשֵׁב בְּקִרְבּוֹ"
“That you not take a wife for my son from the daughters of Ke'na’an (Canaan) among whom I dwell.”
(ibid. 24:3)
She is named Base'mat for she possesses a pleasant fragrance (“bo’sem” – fragrance, perfume) yet she causes displeasure to Yiz'h'ak whose sight is failing. We might say that it is a source of terrible discomfort that brings him closer to his death (as he says: “הֵן קָרְבוּ יָמֶיךָ לָמוּת” – “Indeed my days have come closer to me dying” (ibid. 31:14)). Esav also takes Ye'hudit bat Be'eri as his wife – “Ye'hudit” which seems to indicate a deep connection to our faith (“Ye'hudi” – “of Yehudah,” Jew) yet in fact is the contradiction of the house of Avraham. “Be'eri” (“Of a well”) hints at Yiz'h'ak’s well, signifying depth of meaning; however in practice everything is purely superficial and false. It is these two women who cause great anguish to Yiz'h'ak and Rivkah.
Then Yiz'h'ak decides to send his son Esav into the field, in order to teach him to be connected to the field while holding one’s own and not falling into the grips of the ladies of the land. We know of the ensuing events until Ya’akov takes Esav’s blessing. Then the Torah reveals Esav’s future plans for his brother, Yiz'h'ak:
"וַיִּשְׂטֹם עֵשָׂו אֶת-יַעֲקֹב עַל-הַבְּרָכָה אֲשֶׁר בֵּרְכוֹ אָבִיו וַיֹּאמֶר עֵשָׂו בְּלִבּוֹ יִקְרְבוּ יְמֵי אֵבֶל אָבִי וְאַהַרְגָה אֶת-יַעֲקֹב אָחִי"
“And Esav hated Ya’akov because of the blessing with which his father blessed him; and Esav said in his heart, ‘When the days of mourning for my father approach; then will I slay my brother Ya’akov.’
(ibid. v. 27:41)
Rivkah tells Ya’akov of Esav’s plans, and then she approaches Yiz'h'ak and tells him:
"וַתֹּאמֶר רִבְקָה אֶל-יִצְחָק קַצְתִּי בְחַיַּי מִפְּנֵי בְּנוֹת חֵת אִם-לֹקֵחַ יַעֲקֹב אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת חֵת כָּאֵלֶּה מִבְּנוֹת הָאָרֶץ לָמָּה לִּי חַיִּים"
“And Rivkah said to Yiz'h'ak, I am dislike my life because of the daughters of H'et; if Ya’akov takes a wife of the daughters of H'et, such as these who are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life be to me?”
(ibid. v. 46)
And then Yiz'h'ak calls Ya’akov and says to him:
"וַיִּקְרָא יִצְחָק אֶל-יַעֲקֹב וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתוֹ וַיְצַוֵּהוּ וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ לֹא-תִקַּח אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן : קוּם לֵךְ פַּדֶּנָה אֲרָם בֵּיתָה בְתוּאֵל אֲבִי אִמֶּךָ וְקַח-לְךָ מִשָּׁם אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת לָבָן אֲחִי אִמֶּךָ : וְאֵל שַׁדַּי יְבָרֵךְ אֹתְךָ וְיַפְרְךָ וְיַרְבֶּךָ וְהָיִיתָ לִקְהַל עַמִּים"
“And Yiz'h'ak called Ya’akov, and blessed him, and charged him, and said to him, ‘You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Ke'na’an. Arise, go to Padan-Aram, to the house of Be'tu’el your mother's father; and take a wife from there of the daughters of Lavan your mother's brother. And God Almighty bless you, and make you fruitful, and multiply you, that you may be a multitude of people.’”
(ibid. 28:1-3)
Firstly Yiz'h'ak ‘charges’ Ya’akov, and then he instructs him:
“לֹא-תִקַּח אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן” – “You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Ke'na’an.” Yiz'h'ak sees how Esav completely neglects the strong basis upon which a home is to be established, and now he commands Ya’akov to continue his own heritage, bestowing upon him a unique legacy:
"וְיִתֶּן לְךָ אֶת-בִּרְכַּת אַבְרָהָם לְךָ וּלְזַרְעֲךָ אִתָּךְ לְרִשְׁתְּךָ אֶת-אֶרֶץ מְגֻרֶיךָ אֲשֶׁר-נָתַן אֱלֹהִים לְאַבְרָהָם"
“May He grant the blessing of Avraham to you, and to your seed with you; that you may inherit the land where you dwelled as a foreigner, which God gave to Avraham.”
(ibid v. 4)
Yiz'h'ak bestows Avraham’s blessing on Ya’akov. Ya’akov is now entrusted with the legacy of Avraham and must now carry with him the blessing of the land.
And indeed:
" וַיִּשְׁלַח יִצְחָק אֶת-יַעֲקֹב וַיֵּלֶךְ פַּדֶּנָה אֲרָם אֶל לָבָן בֶּן בְּתוּאֵל הָאֲרַמִּי אֲחִי רִבְקָה אֵם יַעֲקֹב וְעֵשָׂו"
“And Yiz'h'ak sent Ya’akov away; and he went to Padan-Aram to Lavan, son of Be'tu’el the Aramean, the brother of Rivkah, Ya’akov and Esav's mother.”
(ibid v. 4)
Now we might expect the verses to begin with the opening events of Parashat Vayez'e, yet then the Torah records a number of verses which seem to have no connection to their context.
"וַיַּרְא עֵשָׂו כִּי בֵרַךְ יִצְחָק אֶת יַעֲקֹב וְשִׁלַּח אֹתוֹ פַּדֶּנָה אֲרָם לָקַחַת לוֹ מִשָּׁם אִשָּׁה בְּבָרְכוֹ אֹתוֹ וַיְצַו עָלָיו לֵאמֹר לֹא תִקַּח אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן: וַיִּשְׁמַע יַעֲקֹב אֶל-אָבִיו וְאֶל-אִמּוֹ וַיֵּלֶךְ פַּדֶּנָה אֲרָם: וַיַּרְא עֵשָׂו כִּי רָעוֹת בְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן בְּעֵינֵי יִצְחָק אָבִיו"
When Esav saw that Yiz'h'ak had blessed Ya’akov, and sent him away to Padan-Aram, to take a wife from there; and that as he blessed him he charged him, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Ke'na’an’; And that Ya’akov obeyed his father and his mother, and left for Padan-Aram. And Esav saw that the daughters of Ke'na’an were unpleasant in the eyes of Yiz'h'ak his father.”
(ibid. v. 6-8)
Esav notices a number of things. He sees that Yiz'h'ak blesses Ya’akov and bestows Avraham’s blessing on him. He also sees Yiz'h'ak instructing Ya’akov
“לֹא-תִקַּח אִשָּׁה מִבְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן” – “You shall not take a wife of the daughters of Ke'na’an” which leads him to conclude that “רָעוֹת בְּנוֹת כְּנָעַן בְּעֵינֵי יִצְחָק אָבִיו” – “the daughters of Ke'na’an were unpleasant in the eyes of Yiz'h'ak his father.”
Then Esav involves himself in an act of self-righteous religious display – something which will characterize the religion that will be borne of Esav, Christianity, and doing the following:
"וַיֵּלֶךְ עֵשָׂו אֶל יִשְׁמָעֵאל וַיִּקַּח אֶת מָחֲלַת בַּת יִשְׁמָעֵאל בֶּן אַבְרָהָם אֲחוֹת נְבָיוֹת עַל נָשָׁיו לוֹ לְאִשָּׁה"
“Then went Esav to Yishma’el, and took, besides the wives he had, Mah'alat the daughter of Yishma’el the son of Avraham, the sister of Ne'vayot, to be his wife. “
(ibid. v. 9)
Esav attempts to demonstrate that he too cleaves to Avraham’s heritage and makes sure to take “the daughter of Yishma’el the son of Avraham” as his wife. He cunningly wishes to show that he too is worthy of Avraham’s blessing – in the complete antithesis of Ya’akov’s behavior.
The parashah continues:
"וַיֵּצֵא יַעֲקֹב, מִבְּאֵר שָׁבַע; וַיֵּלֶךְ, חָרָנָה."
“And Ya’akov went out from Beersheba, and went to H'aran.”
(ibid. v. 10)
However the first process of establishing the internal family unit can be found at the very beginning of Sefer Be'reshit. Adam’s great heritage is described as follows:
"זֶה סֵפֶר תּוֹלְדֹת אָדָם בְּיוֹם בְּרֹא אֱלֹהִים אָדָם בִּדְמוּת אֱלֹהִים עָשָׂה אֹתוֹ : זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה בְּרָאָם וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתָם וַיִּקְרָא אֶת שְׁמָם אָדָם בְּיוֹם הִבָּרְאָם"
“This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, in the likeness of God he made him; Male and female He created them; and blessed them, and called their name Man, in the day when they were created.”
(ibid. 1,2)
Male and female come together to make the concept of “Man.” Yet this connection between male and female deteriorates until on the eve of the flood we read:
"וַיְהִי כִּי הֵחֵל הָאָדָם לָרֹב עַל פְּנֵי הָאֲדָמָה וּבָנוֹת יֻלְּדוּ לָהֶם : וַיִּרְאוּ בְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים אֶת בְּנוֹת הָאָדָם כִּי טֹבֹת הֵנָּה וַיִּקְחוּ לָהֶם נָשִׁים מִכֹּל אֲשֶׁר בָּחָרוּ"
“And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, That the sons of God (“Be'nei Elohim”) saw the daughters of men that they were pretty; and they took as wives all those whom they chose.”
(ibid. 6:1,2)
The “בְנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים” (“Be'nei Elohim”) – literally “sons of God” – the sons of the nobles act as they see fit and sexual corruption and immorality is born. The deep connection between man and wife is tainted, and the results are horrendous:
" וַיֹּאמֶר ה' לֹא-יָדוֹן רוּחִי בָאָדָם לְעֹלָם בְּשַׁגַּם הוּא בָשָׂר וְהָיוּ יָמָיו מֵאָה וְעֶשְׂרִים שָׁנָה"
“And God said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for he also is flesh; yet his days shall be a hundred and twenty years.”
(ibid. v. 3)
The Torah continues, describing the sexual depravity:
"הַנְּפִלִים הָיוּ בָאָרֶץ בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם וְגַם אַחֲרֵי כֵן אֲשֶׁר יָבֹאוּ בְּנֵי הָאֱלֹהִים אֶל בְּנוֹת הָאָדָם וְיָלְדוּ לָהֶם הֵמָּה הַגִּבֹּרִים אֲשֶׁר מֵעוֹלָם אַנְשֵׁי הַשֵּׁם"
“There were Ne'filim (“titans) in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them, the same became mighty men of old, men of renown.”
(ibid. v. 4)
This, then, is the act considered to be that of “גִּבֹּרִים” – the “mighty” – sexual licentiousness…
And it is then that the difficult conclusion becomes clear:
"וַיַּרְא ה' כִּי רַבָּה רָעַת הָאָדָם בָּאָרֶץ וְכָל-יֵצֶר מַחְשְׁבֹת לִבּוֹ רַק רַע כָּל-הַיּוֹם; וַיִּנָּחֶם ה' כִּי עָשָׂה אֶת הָאָדָם בָּאָרֶץ וַיִּתְעַצֵּב אֶל לִבּוֹ : וַיֹּאמֶר ה' אֶמְחֶה אֶת הָאָדָם אֲשֶׁר בָּרָאתִי מֵעַל פְּנֵי הָאֲדָמָה מֵאָדָם עַד בְּהֵמָה עַד רֶמֶשׂ וְעַד עוֹף הַשָּׁמָיִם כִּי נִחַמְתִּי כִּי עֲשִׂיתִם"
“And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil the entire day. And God regretted that he had made man on the earth, and He was pained to his very core. And God said, ‘I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the birds of the air; for I have regretted that I have made them.”
(ibid. v. 5-7)
Now that the decree of the flood has been declared No’ah' is commanded to build the ark. Only they who have maintained the pure relationship between male and female –even animals – may meet their salvation in the ark.
"מִכֹּל הַבְּהֵמָה הַטְּהוֹרָה תִּקַּח-לְךָ שִׁבְעָה שִׁבְעָה אִישׁ וְאִשְׁתּוֹ וּמִן-הַבְּהֵמָה אֲשֶׁר לֹא טְהֹרָה הִוא שְׁנַיִם אִישׁ וְאִשְׁתּוֹ"
“Of every clean beast you shall take to you seven pairs, the male and his female (“ish ve'ishto”); and of beasts that are not clean one pair, the male and his female.
(ibid. 7:2)
Even though the marital bond and relationship does not apply in the animal kingdom we see a severe expression of the terrible depths humanity has sunk to such that even the animals began distorting their natural impulses. Indeed only four pairs of humans and a small number of animals enter the ark – for it is they who have not been corrupted.
Then the flood obliterates all life on earth that had become so tainted by sexual immorilty, and now No’ah' desires to leave the ark.
"וַיִּהְיוּ בְנֵי-נֹחַ הַיֹּצְאִים מִן הַתֵּבָה שֵׁם וְחָם וָיָפֶת וְחָם הוּא אֲבִי כְנָעַן : שְׁלֹשָׁה אֵלֶּה בְּנֵי-נֹחַ וּמֵאֵלֶּה נָפְצָה כָל הָאָרֶץ"
“And the sons of Noah, who went out of the ark, were Shem, and H'am, and Yeffet; and H'am is the father of Ke'na’an. These are the three sons of Noah; and from them was the whole earth populated.”
(ibid. 9:18-19)
However, once again the terrible poison of sexual depravity seeps into the world:
"וַיָּחֶל נֹחַ אִישׁ הָאֲדָמָה וַיִּטַּע כָּרֶם: וַיֵּשְׁתְּ מִן הַיַּיִן וַיִּשְׁכָּר וַיִּתְגַּל בְּתוֹךְ אָהֳלֹה: וַיַּרְא חָם אֲבִי כְנַעַן אֵת עֶרְוַת אָבִיו וַיַּגֵּד לִשְׁנֵי-אֶחָיו בַּחוּץ : וַיִּקַּח שֵׁם וָיֶפֶת אֶת הַשִּׂמְלָה וַיָּשִׂימוּ עַל שְׁכֶם שְׁנֵיהֶם וַיֵּלְכוּ אֲחֹרַנִּית וַיְכַסּוּ אֵת עֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם וּפְנֵיהֶם אֲחֹרַנִּית וְעֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם לֹא רָאוּ"
“And No’ah' began to be a farmer, and he planted a vineyard; And he drank of the wine, and became drunk; and he lay uncovered inside his tent. And H'am, the father of Ke'na’an, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. And Shem and Yeffet took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.”
(ibid. 9:20-23)
H'am acts quite inappropriately ‘reveals’ his father’s nakedness. When No’ah' awakens, he reacts as follows:
" וַיִּיקֶץ נֹחַ מִיֵּינוֹ וַיֵּדַע אֵת אֲשֶׁר-עָשָׂה לוֹ בְּנוֹ הַקָּטָן : וַיֹּאמֶר אָרוּר כְּנָעַן עֶבֶד עֲבָדִים יִהְיֶה לְאֶחָיו"
“And No’ah' awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done to him. And he said, ‘Cursed be Canaan; a slave of slaves shall he be to his brothers.’”
(ibid. v. 24,25)
No’ah' recognizes the terrible potential in his son, H'am and his descendants, Ke'na’an. He understand that if this force is not kept under control the world can sink into the depths of evil degeneracy, and therefore he places H'am under the rule of Yeffet and the dominant Shem. Shem is the force that will stand strong against Ke'na’an and his assault on the individual identity of each partner to the man-wife unit, thereby destroying the marital bond and thus causing the proliferation of sexual impropriety. The complete antithesis of Shem will be in the form of Ke'na’an and his descendants, who are:
" וּבְנֵי חָם כּוּשׁ וּמִצְרַיִם וּפוּט וּכְנָעַן"
“And the descendant of H'am (are) Kush, Miz'rayim, and Fut and Ke'na’an.”
(ibid. 10:6)
The predominant descendant of Kush will become Avraham’s arch enemy – a “גִּבֹּר” – “mighty one” in the same sense of those Be'nei Elohim at the very beginning of time.
"וְכוּשׁ יָלַד אֶת-נִמְרֹד הוּא הֵחֵל לִהְיוֹת גִּבֹּר בָּאָרֶץ"
“And Kush fathered Nimrod; he was the first on earth to be a mighty one (“gibbor”).”
(ibid. v. 8)
H'am’s other son is Miz'rayim – Egypt – whose Pharaoh will take Avraham’s wife as his own. However we meet the descendants of Miz'rayim in another context, posing the ultimate antithesis to everything that is Avraham and Yiz'h'ak:
"וּמִצְרַיִם יָלַד אֶת-לוּדִים וְאֶת-עֲנָמִים וְאֶת-לְהָבִים--וְאֶת-נַפְתֻּחִים : וְאֶת-פַּתְרֻסִים וְאֶת-כַּסְלֻחִים אֲשֶׁר יָצְאוּ מִשָּׁם פְּלִשְׁתִּים--וְאֶת-כַּפְתֹּרִים"
“And Miz'rayim fathered Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehavim, and Naftuh'im, and Patrusim, and Kasluh'im – from whom the Philistines descend – and Kaftorim.”
(ibid. v. 13,14)
H azal remarks that the peculiar expression “אֲשֶׁר יָצְאוּ מִשָּׁם פְּלִשְׁתִּים” indicates that the lineage of the Pe'lishtim was simply unclear for the patra and the kasla were so steeped in licentiousness that there was no way to determine who the antecedents and parents of each child was.
These all indicate the terrible sexual environment lacking boundaries and squashing the individual’s identity.
Then Avraham steps onto the world stage. Avraham’s wife is also to feature – in a unique manner that expresses her importance and singular worth:
"וַיִּקַּח אַבְרָם וְנָחוֹר לָהֶם נָשִׁים שֵׁם אֵשֶׁת-אַבְרָם שָׂרָי וְשֵׁם אֵשֶׁת-נָחוֹר מִלְכָּה בַּת-הָרָן אֲבִי-מִלְכָּה וַאֲבִי יִסְכָּה"
“And Avram and Nah'or took wives; the name of Avram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nah'or's wife, Milkah, the daughter of H'aran, the father of Milkah, and the father of Yiskah.”
(ibid. 11:29)
Sarah’s identity is further enhanced:
"וַיִּקַּח תֶּרַח אֶת-אַבְרָם בְּנוֹ וְאֶת-לוֹט בֶּן-הָרָן בֶּן-בְּנוֹ וְאֵת שָׂרַי כַּלָּתוֹ אֵשֶׁת אַבְרָם בְּנוֹ וַיֵּצְאוּ אִתָּם מֵאוּר כַּשְׂדִּים לָלֶכֶת אַרְצָה כְּנַעַן וַיָּבֹאוּ עַד-חָרָן וַיֵּשְׁבוּ שָׁם"
“And Terah' took Avram his son, and Lot the son of H'aran his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Avram's wife; and they left with them from Ur of the Chaldeans, to go to the land of Ke'na’an; and they came to H'aran, and lived there.
(ibid. v. 31)
This is the first time we encounter the term “כַּלָה” – “daughter-in law” (also “bride”). The ‘bride’ is quite simply the bride of one’s son, yet she bears the same title when referred to in relation to her husband’s father for the son’s wife completes and complements her husband’s father. The moment one’s son marries he becomes complete – for now he will continue through the generations that will arise through his son, now he becomes eternally.
The pairs of our forefathers walk hand-in-hand through their many challenges as they set the basis for the future nation. Ye'hudah, too, must experience this – after the sale of Yosef he marries “Bat-Shu’a the daughter of a Canaanite” (ibid. 38:2) in a moment of weakness, only to have his life made complete again by his daughter-in-law Tamar. It is then from Ye'hudah and Tamar’s liaison that the Messiah will be born.
Yosef, too, must weather this test, the focus between the man-wife unit.
In fact the future rectification will transpire in this same manner:
"רִיבוּ בְאִמְּכֶם רִיבו כִּי הִיא לֹא אִשְׁתִּי וְאָנֹכִי לֹא אִישָׁהּ וְתָסֵר זְנוּנֶיהָ מִפָּנֶיהָ וְנַאֲפוּפֶיהָ מִבֵּין שָׁדֶיהָ... וְהָיָה בַיּוֹם הַהוּא נְאֻם ה' תִּקְרְאִי אִישִׁי וְלֹא תִקְרְאִי לִי עוֹד בַּעְלִי"
“Plead with your mother, plead; for she is not my wife, nor am I her husband; let her therefore put away her harlotry away from of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts… And it shall be at that day, says God, that you shall call Me ‘My husband’ (“ishi”); and shall no more call Me ‘My master’ (“Baali”).
(Hoshe’a 2:4,18)
No longer will Yisra’el be termed “בַּעְלִי” (literally “my husband,” stemming from the term “בֻּעִילָה” – “marital relations”) which connotes the physical, but rather “אִישִׁי” – “my man” – on the higher plane.
The conclusion is:
"וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי לְעוֹלָם וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בְּצֶדֶק וּבְמִשְׁפָּט וּבְחֶסֶד וּבְרַחֲמִים: וְאֵרַשְׂתִּיךְ לִי בֶּאֱמוּנָה וְיָדַעַתְּ אֶת ה'"
“And I will betroth you to Me forever; I will betroth you to Me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in grace, and in compassion; and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness; and you shall know God.”
(ibid. v. 21,22)
The “engagement” is eternal when the concept of the marriage and the internal connection stands as the basis for existence.
Now we may return to our opening words. Ya’akov requests:
"הָבָה אֶת אִשְׁתִּי כִּי מָלְאוּ יָמָי וְאָבוֹאָה אֵלֶיהָ"
“Give me my wife, for my days have been completed, that I may come to her.”
(Be'reshit 29:21)
Our forefathers existed on a different spiritual and moral plane; they desired their wives as their partners in causing God’s name to become manifest. Our Forefathers and Matriarchs who give the entire world threatened with the flood of sexual lewdness its hope are they who reveal the bond of “man-wife” throughout Sefer Be'reshit.
Translated by Sholem Hurwitz.
Copyright Keren Yishai / Rav M. Elon
Refer to the next note for an explanation of the concept “intellect/”
“ שִׂכֻלִיים” (“sikli’yim”) – literally “intellectual.” The “sekhel” – “intellect” – connotes one’s highest nature, detached from all physical and material pursuits.
See Be'reshit 30:14-18.